Should I Reveal What I Really Think?

Ah yes, it's election season. And we are experiencing one of the most acrimonious presidential elections in recent history.

There's nothing wrong with expressing one's opinion of your favorite or least favorite candidate. However, this year it seems the troglodytes have come out of their caves to sling s*** on everyone in sight.

My remaining family relatives are among those who post and repost items on social media that have been proven false or mostly false long ago. But on the Internet, fictitious items are immortal. Some of what they share is sad. Some is downright tasteless. They are political conservatives. I am a flaming liberal.

I rarely if ever comment on their postings. I don't want to create ill feelings. Although, it apparently doesn't seem to enter their minds that they might be stirring ill thoughts.

Do I dare comment? Share the link to PolitiFact that disproves their lame re-recycled postings? Reveal to all my relations that I am not only a political liberal, but an atheist, and have two (count 'em, two!) tattoos? Do I let them know that I feel lonelier at family reunions than I do sitting home alone with the dog and a book?

Probably not. It's not like either of us will change our viewpoints. Just keep scrolling past their lame brained posts and roll my eyes.

Solitary Life

When I was young, I thought I would go the usual route:  date, meet someone special, get married, have children, and experience all the usual joys and travails.

Never happened.

One date in high school, a handful of dates in college, a handful of single dates in my 20s and 30s, and nothing after that. My good friends never introduced me to anyone. I was never invited to parties where singles mingled. I tried the Friday-after-work singles bar scene without success (or danger, thank goodness). I joined a pre-computer dating service for one year with zero success (only two men tagged me and none of the handful of men I tagged were interested).

I learned in college that a date with any male, whether or not you liked him, was apparently better than time spent with female friends.

I learned that once you left school it was nearly impossible to meet other unattached people -- let alone unattached people with similar interests and like minds.

I discovered that couples hung out with couples, couples with children hung out with other couples with children of the same age, parents talked primarily about their children, grandparents talked primarily about their grandchildren, etc. Since I had no significant other, spouse, child or children, or grandchildren -- I had little to contribute to a conversation.

The people who don't lead solitary lives are full of suggestions. Take up an activity or hobby, take classes, go to events on your own, etc. So I tried all these things. Guess what, at the end of the activity or class the participants rushed home to their spouses. I went to events alone, surrounded by couples and groups, and had no one to talk to. See -- couples and groups rarely if ever invite strangers to join them at events. One of my friendly advisers inadvertently attended an event on her own when the friend she was to meet never showed up. It was her first experience going solitary, and she didn't enjoy it.

Told ya.

I am an only child and an introvert. I require time alone. That said, it would be nice to have a best buddy to hang out with. Go to movies, eat out, walks with the dog, attend local events, to to sporting events, etc.

I mean -- what do all the couples think singletons do with all the time they have alone?  When a person has no immediate family, what do couples suppose the solitary person does without birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate? Are singletons supposed to contact paired up friends, ask what they're doing over the weekend, and invite themselves along?

Sadly, my friends most likely to include me in their activities are the ones who live farthest away.  :-(

So -- to the people who went the "normal" route in our society -- what makes you think solitaries keep track of all your children and grandchildren? Why do you suppose solitaries want to hear you complain about your spouse? What fun and exciting things do you think solitaries are pursuing on their own?

Mother's Day - Not

Mother's Day is just around the corner, and a stranger has already wished me a "Happy Mother's Day." As the day approaches I imagine other well-intentioned people will wish me a Happy Mother's Day or ask me if I have plans for the day.

Notice how Society assumes that because I am a woman I must be a mother? Or, at my age, a grandmother.

My own mother passed away two years ago. Mother's Day only reminds me of my loss.

I have never had children.

When younger I assumed I would meet a man, fall in love, get married, have children, and live the "social norm" lifestyle.

Never happened.

I don't believe I would have qualified for adoption. Back in the day when I was in my 20s and 30s, adoption by single women was rare. Plus, I doubt I would have qualified because of my modest income.

Since I've never had a significant other or spouse, getting pregnant was difficult to accomplish. As for artificial insemination -- see reference above to modest income.

And of course at this late date, it will never happen.

Yet, because I am a woman, Society assumes I am a mother and grandmother.

Just one more way to feel isolated.

Tortoising

Tortoising:  Withdrawing even further into my shell.

When you are completely left out -- where else is there to go? Even when an effort is made to get out and socialize, the end result is home alone.

Might as well forget it and just hole up.

If the Boys Aren't Happy, I'm Not Happy

I have two men in my life, both four-legged. Phantom, my soon-to-be 20-year-old gelding, is my Big Goober Boy. Indy, my 8-year-old Sheltie, is my Little Goober Boy.

Right now, both boys have issues. Phantom has developed a cough that becomes evident when I try to ride him. So far he has no fever or nasty nasal discharge. He seems perky otherwise. For now we're keeping an eye on him.

And Indy's sensitive digestive system is acting up again. He's on a white rice diet. Fortunately, he's already scheduled to see the vet for his annual exam and vaccinations. Maybe we can figure out how to help him.

I've never been the parent of a two-legged child. But I think I have an inkling of how a mother feels when her child/children don't feel well. Worrisome and frustrating. Nothing is right with the world until the child is well again.

Similarly, when my boys aren't at 100%, then I'm grumpy.

How Do You Write?

There has to be a secret to becoming a published, best selling author. Right? Something simple. All a person has to do is this particular thing, and it's off to the New York Times Bestseller List.

I'm guessing that is the thought behind some of the questions raised at the many writing workshops I've attended. Especially among the folks who suddenly got a bee in their bonnet to write a novel.

One of these queries is:  "How do you write?" Most authors today compose on a computer -- laptops likely taking the lead over desktops any more. But some highly successful authors are known for writing the first draft long hand on a pad of legal paper. One or two highly successful romance writers dictate their novels.

Of course, the method of putting words together isn't nearly as significant as character development and creating a satisfying story arc.

So how do I write?

I've settled into a pattern of handwriting the initial draft with a fine point Pentel RSVP ballpoint pen (black) on college ruled binder paper (since narrow ruled is impossible to find). I edit as I enter the longhand version on my desktop computer. I print out and punch holes in the completed pages and add them to a 3-ring binder. I read over the printed version and edit again (red fine point Pentel RSVP ballpoint). These changes are added to the computer draft and I may or may not print out the new version to save paper and ink. If there are extensive edits and additions I'll print out the section again. In this manner a messy first draft accumulates in the binder.

Of course, this is after I've done all the preparatory work. This time out (my most successful effort to date) I have a plot outline/beat sheet of sorts to remind me where I am in the story as I scribble along.

Critiques

Is it egotistical to say I'm a decent writer? After critiquing submittals for the Library Writers Group I'm feeling much better about my efforts. And I have a greater appreciation for the trials and tribulations of book editors.

Background:  the Library Writers Group meets twice a month. We've established a schedule where one meeting is a workshop on some aspect of craft, and the alternate meeting is a critique of participant submittals. Many of us are writing novels. This is a long-term effort pursued in isolation. Authors of long-form narratives go through a cycle of emotions that include excitement with the premise, enthusiasm for the evolving story, despair that the product is tripe, depression that all is for naught. Submitting our draft for others to read and critique is an act of bravery. Writers need all the encouragement and productive advice we can get.

Therefore, I don't want to discourage people who share my writing aspirations. However.... OMG! I can't believe how badly written some of the submittals are! Is this the quality of writing sent to literary agents and publishing editors? No wonder so many rejections are sent out!

I am plowing through a young adult fantasy novel with the working title Noble Estates (yes, I know the title sucks, but it's the working title and I hope a more appropriate one will jump out of the novel when completed). Finally, it seems that all the writing I've done over the years, classes taken, conferences attended, writing books read, and all the workshops I've signed up for have paid off. I've developed characters, built a world, and plotted out the story arc -- and I'm plowing ahead on Noble Estates. I submitted the opening scenes to the Library Writers Group and I was very pleased with the response. The problems were minor (some I anticipated) and easily fixable. In general, everyone thought my work sounded professional. Whew! I was jazzed. I'm on the right track. I'm maintaining my enthusiasm and working on Noble Estates every day.

Then I read submittals from other members of the Library Writers Group and I was stunned. Most of the contributions are the beginnings of good stories that just need help with the execution (craft). But some are abysmal. Not only is the narrative poorly written, but they're lacking the very basics of storytelling. How do you encourage someone who has been brave enough to submit their work that turns out to be horrible? One opening chapter for a novel has no conflict. No conflict! That's the most basic of the basics of storytelling.

Is this what's being self published? When novels this badly conceived are rejected by traditional publishers, are the authors e-publishing and/or self-publishing instead? Yikes! This is what you get when you circumvent the gatekeepers. Not that editors don't blow it at times (writers love to read the list of classic novels that were rejected numerous times before publication). Sometimes the writing really is tripe. And you can get in on Amazon!

I'm beginning to think I'm a real writer.

Gotta go. Noble Estates (yeah, yukky title) awaits.