Solitary Life

When I was young, I thought I would go the usual route:  date, meet someone special, get married, have children, and experience all the usual joys and travails.

Never happened.

One date in high school, a handful of dates in college, a handful of single dates in my 20s and 30s, and nothing after that. My good friends never introduced me to anyone. I was never invited to parties where singles mingled. I tried the Friday-after-work singles bar scene without success (or danger, thank goodness). I joined a pre-computer dating service for one year with zero success (only two men tagged me and none of the handful of men I tagged were interested).

I learned in college that a date with any male, whether or not you liked him, was apparently better than time spent with female friends.

I learned that once you left school it was nearly impossible to meet other unattached people -- let alone unattached people with similar interests and like minds.

I discovered that couples hung out with couples, couples with children hung out with other couples with children of the same age, parents talked primarily about their children, grandparents talked primarily about their grandchildren, etc. Since I had no significant other, spouse, child or children, or grandchildren -- I had little to contribute to a conversation.

The people who don't lead solitary lives are full of suggestions. Take up an activity or hobby, take classes, go to events on your own, etc. So I tried all these things. Guess what, at the end of the activity or class the participants rushed home to their spouses. I went to events alone, surrounded by couples and groups, and had no one to talk to. See -- couples and groups rarely if ever invite strangers to join them at events. One of my friendly advisers inadvertently attended an event on her own when the friend she was to meet never showed up. It was her first experience going solitary, and she didn't enjoy it.

Told ya.

I am an only child and an introvert. I require time alone. That said, it would be nice to have a best buddy to hang out with. Go to movies, eat out, walks with the dog, attend local events, to to sporting events, etc.

I mean -- what do all the couples think singletons do with all the time they have alone?  When a person has no immediate family, what do couples suppose the solitary person does without birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate? Are singletons supposed to contact paired up friends, ask what they're doing over the weekend, and invite themselves along?

Sadly, my friends most likely to include me in their activities are the ones who live farthest away.  :-(

So -- to the people who went the "normal" route in our society -- what makes you think solitaries keep track of all your children and grandchildren? Why do you suppose solitaries want to hear you complain about your spouse? What fun and exciting things do you think solitaries are pursuing on their own?